Many, many years ago I loved Christmas. Lots of decorations, baking, cards and such. Then my father died on December 22. His funeral was Christmas Eve and the two have been forever linked. Twice I sent beloved dogs to heaven on Christmas Eve, then three years ago one of my sisters died on December 23rd. I still celebrated the real meaning of the holiday with church activities and remembering friends, even tho it was bittersweet at times.
Then, this year I got a job working retail just before Thanksgiving. Humans are terrible creatures some times. They lie and steal. They treat others badly - maybe in an attempt to feel superior or important? Some are very lonely and just need a kind word. Having the free gift boxes set up near my work station was a fascinating study in human nature. When customers thought they cost money, they needed two; when the found out they were free, they needed five.
And yesterday I think I lost my faith or my heart broke. I'm not sure which. Two Mexican women - no US identification - and a large group of children came in to return bags of clothing. All of the items were children-sized and brand new. I believe all were donated to their family, probably by some well meaning church group - maybe even my own, and they were trying to cash it all in. The kids were poorly dressed and looked a bit worn and haggard. When the women found out they could not get cash or even store credit for their haul, but would have to wait for a check from our corporate headquarters, they gathered it all up and took it away. I've been in a horrible mood ever since.
I'm trying to not let the actions of two horrible woman color my response to the entire human race. There are good people out there who appreciate the donations of well-meaning people. At the moment I'm not inclined to share my bounty with anyone, or even include them in my prayers to a God they seem to not know. Looks like it will be a reflective holiday for me.
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